The World Through the Eyes of a Woman

A Factual Story

Perceptions of the world are woven from wisdom, knowledge and experience, gathered from the friends, acquaintances and associates we meet along the way.  Each of us gazes at the world from a different angle, through an alternative lens, leaving no two views identical.

My Aunt Julia has a gift. She finds profound beauty in every human, yet she is not afraid to examine aspects of our world, away from which many avert their eyes. I have been close with her my whole life, and have found Julia’s view to be constructively critical. The inherent goodness Julia sees in every person, leads her to work for those whose voices are drowned in society’s undercurrent.

Julia is a social worker who assists sexual assault and violence ‘survivors,’ as she chillingly calls them.  Before this she worked in women’s prisons. Julia’s perspective on our society really began to define itself when she studied structural social work at university. This was because it recognised that, despite how far we have come, there are distinctions and rifts in our society that differentiate people. These are usually social expectations remnant of historical roles.  

With the courage to point out room for change in our society where others show indifference, Julia is what I would term, a progressive feminist. She is not dogmatic or dictatorial about her beliefs, but nor is she weak. For Julia, feminism is another way of examining the overarching umbrella surrounding gender, race, and religious disparity. This is why, when choosing organisations to work for, she looks at their methods of social analysis. For Julia, awareness of the reasons her job exists, acts as the key to becoming to an open minded, supportive worker, with a genuine understanding and desire to help. Social analysis helps her understand the reasons behind her clients’ adversities.

While Julia is very different to anyone I’ve met, there are certain categories of ‘difference’. Of course, we are all individual, but in Julia’s view, sometimes the social and economic differences are not to be celebrated. “We live in this system, which by its very nature says we all have to be different. It’s all about seeing if you can become wealthy, about lifting your status. But ‘rich’ is a relative term. If you’re rich, somebody must be poorer,” she says. Julia has also witnessed the inherent tendency for us to judge others based on these ‘differences’. A young, pregnant, homeless, uneducated woman already has multiple social stigmas attached: ‘She must be promiscuous, she mustn’t use protection, a young mother cannot care for a child’. In the multitude of voices, all asserting what is best for her, the woman’s voice will not be heard.

Julia’s clients are predominantly victims of sexual violence, assault and rape. It is not uncommon for Julia to meet people who are traumatised, depressed and suicidal on a day to day basis. But Julia has a deep respect for her clients. “I realise the incredible position I’m in.” She says. “Women tell me, a complete stranger, these intimate, difficult, and what they often see as shameful things about themselves. They trust me with this information. I don’t know these women. I don’t go and ‘hang out’ with them. We come together because I’m employed and have an obligation to do it. Yet they still trust me.” When described as brave, Julia shakes her head. “No,” she says, “I am not brave. It is the women who come to me who have the real courage.” Often, after someone is sexually assaulted this becomes their defining characteristic in others’ eyes. Julia makes a point of recognising her clients’ as profound and multilayered humans. On coming to her, women are often guilty, regretting the decisions they made or wishing they had done something more – something which could have changed the devastating outcome. Julia brings to light the positive steps and the action they took during the experience, not dwelling on supposed mistakes. “The fact that a woman walks through the door, says to me that she already has some strength. It is a very brave thing, to leave yourself emotionally vulnerable to a complete stranger” she says.  

Julia counts herself lucky among social workers that no one she has worked with has ever succeeded in taking their own life. But they have tried. A few years ago a period in Julia’s life was marred by tragedy as the emotional barrier she could usually maintain became difficult to preserve. A woman lit herself alight in the car park of the office Julia worked at. The woman died. Julia didn’t know the woman, but the death hung over her workplace. Not long afterwards, a homeless woman, tired of seeking financial assistance, lit herself on fire with the same goal. She had been a client of Julia’s and had worked closely with her. The woman failed to kill herself, but was badly injured. While this was a devastating experience, and Julia was deeply affected, it was not in the way she expected. A long struggle of recovery, countless visits to the hospital and counselling sessions began. Julia was deeply a part of the woman’s emotional and physical journey. When the woman was recovered, and ready to move on, it was difficult to accept the loss of someone whose life Julia had been strongly a part of for a long time.

Surrounded by unfinished stories and loose ends, closure is a rare luxury. If she is lucky, Julia might briefly hear of a client’s progress once they move on. “You just want to call them and ask how they’re going” she says. But being part of the bigger picture, the greater process of recovery and healing, Julia is the worker, not the friend. “The barrier between friendship and associate is a tough one, but it is also important.” says Julia. Emotional involvement in any client’s misfortune is not good for either party.  

With a belief that her perspectives of the world and life’s work should be closely intertwined, Julia spreads her message with open minded passion. “I think there needs to be a shift in views if there is going to be change for those marginalised in our society” says Julia. “The women I work with are no different to me. The only factor separating us is our varying types of experience and knowledge”. Julia knows change will not happen quickly - probably not in her lifetime, as social traditions are forged over centuries - but she will never stop working for it.